Divine Bastards

  It was like when you think you see, out of the corner of your eye, a roach scurry across the floor, but when you quickly look, you see nothing.  You pass it off as a trick of light and shadow, or maybe your blind spot.  It´s a common every day occurrence and easily dismissed.  Of course, when the thing you think you see is more human size, it´s a little less easily dismissed.  And when comes the time you quickly look and start actually seeing the things as they disappear around corners or behind people, you stop dismissing it altogether.

  Being fairly objective, and not given to paranoia, I went about my days normally but became more observant.  I started getting better looks at them with my peripheral vision, and then became much improved at the art of looking to the side while facing forward.  Yeah, I thought I was outsmarting them good until one night I was in line at the supermarket checkout, and I noticed one of the male figures standing one row over, in a closed lane.  I was looking at him through the corner of my eye, pretending that I didn´t see him.  He was the one I had caught spying on me the most.  He was a mixture of both rugged and clean cut, yet still seemed to bear and air of sophistication.  I had him pegged as the leader.

  I had been carefully observing them for almost a full year, so I started noticing their patterns.  As I moved forward a couple of steps in line, it would normally have been at this point that any of them would have disappeared behind something, but he didn´t move.  I then thought that if I turned to look at him, he would move, and I´d get a full look at nothing but the flowing ends of his coattails.   I got that a lot, as they seemed to all wear dusters or long coats of one form or another.

  I could hardly believe it when I found myself staring him directly in the face.  I felt a number of eerie sensations wash over me, though mainly shock and confusion.  Granted, I´d never before looked at any of them directly, but they had always seemed to maintain the appearance of a casual observer.  Not this time.  He was standing firm, and had a very serious look on his face.  He obviously no longer cared if I saw him.

  I was startled when the person behind me asked me to move forward.  It was at this point that the man decided to disappear behind the chips stand next to him.  I left the line and hurried to see where he had went, but he seemed to have literally disappeared.  Just back into the open store area, I looked in all directions, but I saw no trace of him.

  Back in line, I thought about how he was looking at me.  It was a look similar to that which a bully gives his target in passing when they have an appointment to meet by the flagpole after school, only this look didn´t fill you with a sense of impending doom.  I had the distinct feeling that I was going to be encountering this guy directly again, and soon, but I didn´t feel at all threatened.

  It was a very slow night; even for a Tuesday.  As I started walking back home from the store, I noticed a decided lack of cars and pedestrians.  There were a few other people in front of the store, but I seemed to be quite alone a couple of blocks away.  That was until I heard the faint scream.  It sounded as if it may have come from the alley just ahead, so I set down my grocery sack and rushed to see.  The alley was actually more of the inset of a U-shaped building, but it was fairly deep.

  A small door light, just past halfway down, barely illuminated the very end of the inset.  Much was in shadow, but there appeared to be two figures struggling, and from the sounds and motions of the two, it looked as if a woman was about to be raped.  I began to run towards them, and I was going to shout, but I managed only half a step before tripping over something.  It didn´t take me too long to realize what it was as I pushed myself up from a dead male body.

  A bit shocked and surprised, I practically jumped to my feet and I just stared down at the body, but another muffled scream brought me out of my trance.  The female was now on the ground with the attacker on top of her.  I moved to run towards them, but my entire body was halted, and my mouth was covered, muffling my own shout.  Two strong arms were hooked under my own.  I was pulled backwards, and then someone else grabbed my ankles and held them together.

  I was carried back around the corner to the front of the building where two more people secured my legs and waist.  I did struggle, but these people were incredibly strong, and even my most savage attempts to free myself accomplished only the slightest of budges.  The nearby street lamp went out, and my captors seemed to freeze in place.

  Suspended horizontally, and almost on my side, I had an angled view of the mouth of the inset, as if it was exactly what they wanted me to be seeing.  I ceased my futile struggle when I heard a whine, and I had no choice but to listen as the attacker continued his heinous task.  I didn´t have to listen long, though.  There was half of another faint scream and then a terrible silence.  I made one more fleeting attempt at struggle, and then I just went limp.  I squeezed my eyes shut on forming tears, let out a heavy breath, and felt my heart pull at my chest like a great stone.

  Soon I heard quick footsteps grow louder as they approached the mouth of the inset  The footsteps stopped, but from the low sounds that followed, it was apparent that the attacker was going through the dead male´s clothes.  I opened my eyes in hopes of catching a glimpse of the attacker as he stepped out of the inset, but he was off and running down the sidewalk so fast that I saw only the back of him.

  After he disappeared around the corner of the block, my ankles and legs were released.  A calm but stern voice in my ear said, "I know you´re wondering what´s going on.  We are going to release you and then explain it.  You will not attempt to fight us, and you will not attempt to run, because you know that either attempt will fail."

  He was right, of course.  I was obviously outnumbered, and given their incredible strength, I was also outclassed.  I still hadn´t actually seen any of them, but it was reasonably safe to conclude that my captors were the people that had been watching me all those years,  which meant even if I did run, they would just pop up in front of me somehow as I turned a corner or opened a door.  I understood them, but that was apparently something else they already knew.  Without bothering to inquire into my willingness to cooperate, the remaining three released me completely.  I stepped away and turned to look at them as I rearranged my disheveled shirt.

  Despite the lack of a working street light, I could see the five figures well enough to confirm that they were the ones that had watched me.  They were all there.  The one in front, and one would guess he was the leader, was the one I saw in the store not fifteen minutes before.  Scattered behind him were all the others I´d seen.  There were two males, one with long hair and the other bald, and there were two females; one had short blonde hair and the other with medium length black hair.

  I was suddenly reminded of the girl in the inset.  I turned and started towards the opening when I heard that same voice say, "Don´t go in there."

  "She may still be alive," I said as I continued.

  "She´s not," he said in a tone that I believed.

  I turned and walked back to him.  "Do any of you intend to at least call the police?"

  "That´s not for us to do."

  "Then I´ll do it," I said as I started towards the pay phone on the next block back toward the store.

  "When I said that´s not for us to do, I meant you as well."

  I turned quickly, "And why is that?"

  "Because you´re not supposed to be here," he said to me as I walked backed to him.

  I stopped in front of him and looked him in the eyes.  "You want to cut the crypticism and get to the point?"

  "Yes, but we need to return to your apartment before someone sees you."

  "Oh, really?"

  "You have nine minutes," was his only response.

  I looked at each of them as I thought.  I would most likely not be allowed to do anything else, so I might as well comply.  I was perturbed, but I said, "Fine."  I started walking quickly towards home.  "let´s go.  I´m sure you know the way."  I heard them keeping pace behind me the two blocks back to the apartment building.  No one said anything along the way, so it gave me some time to calm down and think.  These were obviously not normal people, and they seemed to know something I didn´t.  I quietly cursed myself for having momentarily strayed from reason.

  I unlocked my apartment door, pushed it open wide, and headed straight for the couch.  "Come one in," I said with a touch of sarcasm.  "Make yourself at home.  I´m sure you know your way around."  I paused at a thought.  "Or maybe not.  I don´t recall ever seeing you here."

  "We´ve needed to be here only a few times, but only while you were away."

  I had been avoiding looking at any of them, but I did glance at him, as he now sat in the chair across from me, to say, "Oh, that makes it okay."  I closed my eyes.  Man, what was wrong with me?  I seemed to be having a more difficult time than usual keeping my tongue at bay, which meant that I wasn´t maintaining the control over myself that I preferred.  The walk had calmed me some, but I still felt this weird edginess throughout my very being.

  I heard noises in the kitchenette, so I turned to look.  "What are you doing?"  The bald guy had one of his hands inside an open top cabinet.  The blonde was next to him holding a can of food, and they both looked at me.

  "We´re putting away your groceries, "the blonde said.  "You forgot them when you left," then looked back to her task and tacked on, "in a huff."

  Like I needed that rubbed in.  She was right, though, and that behavior was quite uncharacteristic of me.  I´ve always made a point to refrain from such pathetic displays.  The presence of these people seemed to be having some psychological effect on me.  Perhaps it will be explained later, but in the meantime, I shall have to make a greater effort to think before I act.  "Thank you," I said, "for bringing them."

  She glance at me and said, "You´re welcome," in a stern but forgiving tone.

  I looked around, but did not see the long-haired male or the dark-haired female.  "Where´s the other two," I said, then looked back at the leader.

  "They´re outside putting the burnt out bulb back in Mr. Howard´s porch light socket, " he told me.

  "What?  I just put a new one in a few hours ago.  Why are they switching it back?"

  "Because you weren´t supposed to.  He´s supposed to change it himself."

  "Oh, come on.  He´s in his sixties and can´t reach it.  He´s not that able.  I was just trying to give the guy a break."

  "Quite the opposite, actually," said the bald guy.  He and the blonde had finished putting away the groceries and were leaning against the counter watching us.

  "What?"  I then noticed that they had still failed to get to the point.

  Their leader spoke again.  "What he means is that your action would have prevented Mr. Howard from breaking his arm."

  "First, that was the general idea, and second, cut the crap and tell me who the hell you are."

  "Well, you´re half right," the blonde said.

  I immediately shot daggers at her, "Shut up," but quickly sheathed them.  "Dammit, I´m sorry."  I had apparently lost control, again, for a second.  "I´m sorry," I said again, but directed it towards all of them in general.  "Look.  Just being around you is having some kind of weird effect on me.  It seems to be making me get mad more easily, and the fact that you people won´t give me a straight answer is not helping in the least,"

  "Actually, it is helping," the leader cut in.

  Not again.  "Oh, for the love of god, " I said, leaping up and pressing the meat of my palm against my forehead and squeezing my eyes shut.

  "You´re half right, again," said the blonde, then added, "sort of," with a smile as I shot her a very disapproving glance.  I was getting tired of this run-around.  If they were going to do nothing but keep hitting me with this barrage of nonsense, then I was going to quit making myself a target.  "Alright, I´m done asking questions."  Just then the door opened, and the other two came in.  I looked at them.  "Oh, good.  The gang´s all here."  I sat back down and reclined sarcastically.  "Come on in and have a seat.  Your leader, here, is about to explain everything clearly and directly."

  The long-haired guy said, "Oh, good," as if a movie were about to start, and they both walked to sit beside me on either side of the couch.

  He was half bent to sit at my right when I lightly pushed my palm against his lower back to stop him.  "No.  Uh, uh."  He and the female raised back to a standing position as I said to the male, "You can go sit in the other chair."  He walked around the coffee table to the chair at their leader´s right.  The brunette female looked at me curiously.

  I continued, "You´re okay.  You´re a hottie and you haven´t pissed me off yet.  Go ahead."  She sat down beside me, crossed her legs, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her put her arm behind me, along the back of the couch, but she didn´t touch me in the slightest.  I spoke again, pointing to the leader and then moved my finger in a circle to indicate the remaining four.  "You talk, and the rest of you shut up."

  The moment of silence that followed made me shamefully aware of my stint of arrogance, and the humility was amplified by the realization that the leader´s expression had not changed at all.  From the moment I first looked at him, after they let me go, to this very moment, I never saw him so much as raise an eyebrow.  His face maintained a complete absence of expression.  He was completely unreadable.  He began to speak.

  "You are one of us."  I felt a great urge to question that, but I force myself to remain silent.  "To have any hopes of understanding any of the truth, you must first abandon all thoughts of what humans call the afterlife in physical terms.  No part of it is in any way the least bit physical.  It´s just one great collective consciousness.  We, you, and every human soul are just parts, aspects of the greater whole."

  "Now, because you are in a physical body, your soul is, in a manner of speaking, hindered.  Your physical awareness, and the constant distraction of the physical world prevents you from being able to use all of the knowledge and power your soul possesses, which is, in fact, all knowledge and all power.  It is because of this limitation that I will be forced to explain further details in physical terms, using metaphor, because you couldn´t possibly comprehend it otherwise.  Just remember that it is merely metaphor, only to give you a general sense, and should not in any way be taken literally.  Everything is merely aspects of the whole."  I nodded.

  "God and Satan are at war, but they together produce neutral souls to be put in human bodies.  As humans, they live their lives and then return.  The ones good enough become angels, and the ones evil enough become demons; the armies of good and evil.  Those which are not far enough to either extreme are sent back into another human body for another try, in a manner of speaking."

  "Angels together and demons together can also produce new souls, but they are not neutral, but it doesn´t matter once they enter what will be a human body.  All the souls become equal at that point.  Occasionally, a demon will rape an angel, and that´s when we are produced.  We are souls that start out divided.  We have no purity.  We are equal halves of both good and evil."

  "We are forbidden to fight for either army, but at the same time, none of us really want to, because we are unable to be loyal to either side.  We are forbidden from interfering in any way in the war.  Because we are incapable of reproducing, and because we have no desire to fight for either side, we are tolerated and are allowed to stay together in an area between the two sides.  You, however, became extremely dissatisfied."  I raised an eyebrow at that.

  "You chose a pregnant human female with absolutely no ties.  She had no family, no friends, no husband or boyfriend, and the father of her child was killed in an accident mere days after the conception.  Time passed for her, and eventually it came time to give birth to her child.  The labor was extremely difficult, and there were serious complications.  Both she and the baby died, and this was where you seized your chance.  Immediately after the baby´s soul left the body, you entered it.  That baby should have stayed dead, but you caused it to continue living, which interfered with the course of human events, which is interfering in the affairs between good and evil."

  "Ever since your birth, we have been here cleaning up the mess you've made.  Every time you took an action that would alter the course, we took a counter action to alter it back.  So far, we´ve been able to do this without your knowing, but we´ve come to a significant point in your life."

  "Really," I said," and what point is that?"

  "Tonight was the first time we were forced to make direct contact with you."

  "You mean that couple that got killed?"  His answer was a nod.  I was a little confused, to use and understatement.  Why couldn´t they have just done something to make me leave a little later?

  "We are allowed to take action only after the fact.  We are allowed only to undo what you have done, either directly, like changing back the light bulb, or indirectly by doing relatively insignificant things that would eventually nudge things back on track, working around your existence, making you, in a sense, forgettable to those who came in contact with you."

  "I don´t see how you could have done that in some cases.  I mean, I have been living in this apartment for half a year.  Surely that disrupted something."

  The apartment would have remained empty otherwise.  You see, you chose a life that would make it possible for us to clean up after you.  You were daring, but not stupid.  You knew better than to choose a life that would cause irreparable damage."

  "So, you´re saying I already knew what kind of life I was going to have before I had it?"

  "Time is a concept that applies only to the physical world.  We possess all knowledge.  We are all things."

  "I don´t understand."

  "And as a human, you never will.  The physical world has limits; the laws of science.  There are things that just will not happen in the physical world, and having a full comprehension of the non-physical world is one of them.  There are things that cannot possibly be explained with words.  Even the things I´ve been telling you are extremely insufficient in comparison to the greater truth."

  "Okay."  It sounded reasonable enough, for what good it did me.  "So what do we do now?  Do we watch TV, or do we all go out to eat... on you, of course."

  "When I said that we´ve come to a significant point in your life, I didn´t tell you all of it."  I suddenly got the feeling that I didn´t like where this was going.  "Your time has come to a close."

  Yeah, that´ll pretty much do it.  "Say what?"

  "Bluntly put, it´s almost time for you to die."

  I moved myself down to the left side of the couch while looking at them all with wide eyes.  "Whoa.  Wait a minute.  You´re going to kill me?"

  "No, we are forbidden to kill any human, even you."

  "Okay.  I´m glad to hear that, but can you humor me and explain why?"

  "It´s one of those things that can´t be explained."

  I eased back a little.  "Okay.  I guess I can live with that."  The blonde gave a little laugh.  I looked at her curiously, but she only smiled.  I apparently said something else that amused her.  Then it hit me.  They can´t kill me, and I can live with that.  Good grief.  "I am so very glad I can amuse you."  I looked back at the leader.  "You seem to be the only one doing anything important.  What are the rest of these jokers doing here besides getting a kick out of the ignorant human?"

  "They are serving their purposes.  They are doing what it takes to make sure everything occurs as it should."

  I was about to offer a little more sarcasm, but all I managed was the inhale before he started again.  "All humans are influenced by their environment.  They are influenced in ways that are quite obvious, but also in ways that are so subtle that they are not consciously aware of them.

  Each one of us, in our behavior and even appearance, is affecting you in individual ways that are collectively ensuring that our mission, if you will, succeeds.  Unlike humans, we already know all possible outcomes and, therefore, know exactly what should be done in order to successfully guide you, psychologically, in smoothly reaching an understanding sufficient for accepting the truth and fulfilling your original plan."

  I was about to ask, what plan, but he, once again, cut me off before I had begun, which was becoming quite annoying, by the way.  "The plan you had of living a life as a human.  I call it a plan, but that´s really such a rudimentary concept compared to the truth of the matter.  As I have said, we are all-knowing. "

  "Okay," how about that: I managed to get a word in.  "I guess since we´re all still here, that means there´s more to be done."  He nodded once, slowly, closing his eyes momentarily as he did.  "So, what´s next?"

  "You still have more questions."

  I paused a moment, unsure exactly how to proceed.  "Yes..."

  "Ask them.  Unless you want me to just give you all the answers I can give you, all at once."

  "Wait.  If you know what questions I have, and you know what will happen, then why are you offering me a choice?"

  "Because I know you´re tired of me cutting you off before you can begin, and offering you this token choice made you feel a little bit less out of control of the situation."

  "Token choice.  Isn´t that the aspect of the plan that you´re supposed to keep to yourself?  I mean, doesn´t telling me you´re merely humoring me kind of defeat the purpose?"

  "Not for you, and not for the greater picture.  The initial offering of the choice served it´s purpose of making you feel a little more in control.  In that split second, the deed was done.  Telling you about it was to further help you better understand the situation you are in.  To help further illustrate how every action, no matter how small, is intentional to achieve the greater goal."

  "Kind of like destiny."

  "Destiny is a flawed concept.  Humans confuse knowledge of future events with an inability to control their own futures.  Humans make their own choices.  Destiny is merely the misguided name given to already knowing the outcome.  We know all outcomes."

  "Okay.  So, basically, I decided to live as a human, knowing that you would clean up after me throughout my entire life, then eventually face me up front for this encounter we are having right now."  He nodded slowly, again.  "And I am to then die, I assume sometime in the pretty near future."  A nod.  "And exactly how am I to die, if I am permitted to know?"

  "It is not yet time for that knowledge."

  Wasn´t expecting that answer.  "Okay.  What time is it, then?"

  "A little after twelve-thirty in the morning, by your clock,"  the blonde said.

  I looked at her.  She was grinning, apparently quite amused with herself.  I looked at the clock.  It showed twelve-thirty two.  I looked back at their leader.  "Please tell me why those two think they´re so very funny."

  "It makes us seem less threatening.  It breaks things up a little.  Makes you feel better."

  "Okay.  They´re comedy relief.  What´s he," I asked, pointing to the long-haired guy sitting in the chair to the leader´s right.

  "He´s quiet."

  "No, I heard him say, ‘Oh, good,´ earlier.   I pointed to the black-haired female to my right.  "She´s quiet."

  "No, she´s beside you.  He´s in front of you and quiet.  She´s beside you and attractive."

  "She´s attractive, too," I said, pointing to the blonde.

  "But she looks better to you," said the blonde.  It was unusual to hear a female say such a thing without any emotion, but she was right.  I do prefer dark hair, not that there wasn´t more that made her look better in my eyes.

  The leader spoke.  "You find her mere presence calming."

  "And that´s why she doesn´t speak," I asked.

  "You know why she doesn´t speak."

  I thought a moment about it.  He was right.  It was very clear to me.  I wanted to have her all to myself, alone, but I knew that desire would be distracting, so she is silent and not actually touching me in order to keep that desire to a minimum.  And her mere presence near me was, indeed, very calming for me.  In fact, it was her presence that helped me hold my tongue as much as I did before.  I didn't realize it at the time, but a part of me desired to not appear uncouth to her.  I then noticed that I had not been rude to them in a while.  As a test to their claim of all knowledge, I said only, "What´s the deal with that?"

  "As I said, we are half good and half evil.  As a human, you did lean more towards good, and our close and known proximity caused your naturally evil half to get a little stirred up.  Our presence ignited a small struggle in you to regain your original balance.  It´s steadied enough, so that you are no longer having uncontrolled outbursts of rudeness."

  That raised another question.  "If we are equally good and evil, then why is it that we all seem to be largely good, right now."

  "Good is much more productive, right now.  Being equal halves of both sides, we can freely choose which side we use.  We are similar to humans in that respect.  They can choose to be good or evil, though they start out as neither, in a manner of speaking.  Pure good can be only good, and pure evil can be only evil."

  "Really?  But I thought Satan started as an angel."

  "You are thinking in human terms; physical terms.  There is no individualism.  There are no literal angels or demons.  No literal war.  No literal rape.  It is merely aspects of the single whole put into terms that you would better understand.  We are in individual human forms because it serves to help you relate, as a human.  It is another aspect of increasing your general comfort."

  I needed that reminder.  "I get what you´re saying, but it´s still very confusing."

  "As a human, there is absolutely no hope of fully comprehending the truth."

  I looked at the floor.  "That´s encouraging," I said, sarcastically, but without intent to be rude.

  After a moment, I looked back up into their leader´s eyes.  I didn´t have any particular reason for doing so.  I just did it.

  "The time for your death draws near," he said, looking at me, then he stood up.  Baldy, blondy, and quiet boy, then stood.  "You must come with us."

  You would think a person would feel a little more nervous about knowing they were about to soon have to die, especially if the person still did not know how it was supposed to happen.  I was not entirely calm, mind you, but I´d been made more nervous by tests in school.  I stood up, a little hesitantly, and the brunette stood with me.  "Where are we going," I asked.

  Quiet boy opened the front door, exited, and baldy and blondy followed.  The leader looked me in the eye, saying, "The waterfall," waited a second, then turned to exit.

  The waterfall.  Well, those two words were deceptively informative.  I was never one to jump to conclusions, but I felt fairly certain that I suddenly knew how I was to meet my end.  Talk about jumping to conclusions....

  "Tell me about it," I heard the blonde shout from outside the doorway.  Good grief.  She popped her head back in the doorway, smiled big, and winked.  She then said, "Come on.  Don´t wanna be late."  I shook my head and laughed a little as I started towards the door.

  The brunette followed me out and closed the door behind us.  As we walked towards the street, I asked, "So, what´s the plan?  It´s too far to walk, and I don´t have a car."

  Without turning around, the leader spoke.  "You take a cab."

  "And that won´t interfere with the course of human events?"  As if I thought it was really a bad plan.  They know everything, right?

  "You take a particular cab."  Do tell.  "This cab driver will later die in an accident.  He´s got an appointment to pick a friend up at 2 A.M.  He´ll take you to the waterfall only because he knows a shortcut that will get him back in time.  He will pick up his friend on schedule, then five minutes later, they will collide head-on with a drunk driver."

  We got to the sidewalk and just stood, waiting.  He continued, "There will be no record of your trip, because no one of consequence will see either of you, and he will not call it in, because after you tell him you want to go to the waterfall, he will insist on telling you a story about when he went there with his first wife, and he will forget to call it in.  He´ll forget on the way back, as well, because he will be too busy trying to recall the song that was playing on the radio when he proposed to her."

  That´s nice and tidy.  Then I had a thought.  "What about my apartment and all my stuff?"

  "We will take care of that.  We will remove your things, dispose and distribute them appropriately, and a simple note to your landlord will take care of the rest."  I thought that over, not that I really had to.  "Hail this cab," he then said.

  "What?" I said, returning my attention to him.

  "This cab approaching.  Hail it.  Incidentally, no one else can see us."

  "Oh, well, of course," I said with a hint of sarcasm.  I stepped to the curb and put up my hand.  The cab pulled over.  I opened the back door and got in.

   I shut the door, then the driver asked, "Where can I take you this fine night?"  What a nice guy.  I instantly felt sorry for him.

  "The waterfall, please."

  "Really?  Alone?  This time of night?"  I looked forward to see his concerned face looking back at in the rear view mirror.

  "I´m meeting someone there."

  After a moment, his open mouth spread to a smile.  "Ohhhhhhh.  I see."  He looked forward and pulled out into the street.  "Yes, that can be a very romantic place, especially under a full moon.  I know a few a kids that were conceived there, and I´m not just talking about my own, if you know what I mean.  Me and my first wife used to go out there a lot when we were dating.   May she rest in peace.  I even proposed to her there."

  "Really?  That sounds very nice.  Can you tell me all about it?"  Knowing the future can be fun.

  "Oh, sure.  It was on a Saturday.  We went there a lot to, you know, make out.  We had been together for about three years, and that was a really special place for us."

  He continued talking during the entire drive.  He regaled me with story after story about his wife, whom he apparently cared for immensely.  It made me think about my own life.  All those years and I never really cared for any one, nor anyone for me.  It wasn´t quite as bad for me as one might think.  I mean, I did want a closeness with someone, but I never really found anyone worth getting really involved with.

  I didn´t really desire friends or feel any great need for general companionship.  I suppose that was for the best considering what I was supposed to be.  Their story sounded really farfetched, but considering the facts of my life, and their general weirdness, I didn´t really have any reason to doubt them.  I was actually willingly going to a waterfall to very likely jump to my own death, yet I don´t seem to have a single objection.  Fascinating.

  I wondered why I would I want to take on a human body, and live a human life, if it was not going to be a very exciting life.  Heck, it was not even a significant life.  What would be gained?  It´s a futile question, I guess.  A moot point.  I´m still thinking in human terms.  Desire probably was not even a factor.  I suppose I´ll find out once I´m out of my body and back home.

  "Well, maybe it´s because you had something else on your mind at the time.  You were proposing, and you said you were nervous.  What song is on the radio wouldn´t exactly be a priority," I said to the driver as he pulled to a stop in the small picnic area near the waterfall.

  He looked at me in the rear view mirror.  "But, you see, I had actually pointed out the song to her, and told her I´d think of that night every time I heard it."

  "Well, then the next time you hear it, you´ll remember.  Look at the up side: At least you didn´t promise you´d never forget the song."

  He smiled and half laughed as he said, "Yeah, I guess I got lucky there."  His expression changed slightly, but remained cheery.  "You know, I don´t think I´ve ever had as good a fare as you."

  I looked down smiled, blushing, "Well..."

  "No.  No.  I mean it.  A lot of people don´t like any talk on their ride, and a lot of people like to do most of the talking, but it´s hard to find anyone who would ride this long with me doing all the talking.  It does an old man´s heart good to know there´s someone like you in the world, and I hope some other cabby gets the honor of driving you somewhere far away.  You take care, now.  Hear?"

  "Okay.  Thanks."  I opened the door and stepped out.  I shut the door, thinking, what a great guy.  I lowered my head to the open back window.  "Drive safe."

  "Always."

  The cab pulled away.  "Poor guy."  I turned to walk towards the observation bridge over the waterfall.  A realization hit me, and I slapped my hand to my back pocket.  "I never paid him for the ride."

  "And he never asked you for payment."  I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of the voice right behind me.

  "Holy crap," I barely kept from shouting as I turned around to see all five of them standing there.

  "You might call us that," the blonde said.

  I looked at her.  "Oh, yeah.  Glad you caught that one.  Nicely done," I said sarcastically.

  The leader walked passed me, saying, "You don´t have too much time."  He was heading for the bridge.  We all began to follow; the brunette once again at my side.

  I didn´t have anything to say on the short walk to the bridge.  I was busy looking around.  I´d never been here before.  It was a pretty nice little place.  The main road turned off to a small U-shaped side access road along which where a few picnic tables, and the whole thing was obscured from the main road by trees.  About 150 feet from the tables started a fence-protected and somewhat steep decline to a river.  You could hear the waterfall from the tables, where it was not very loud, but the volume increased as we got closer.  As we came upon the bridge, I saw a small tourist sign saying the waterfall was an almost 300 feet drop.  Wow.

  Both entrances to the bridge were blocked with temporary chain link gates, because the protective cages along the side of the bridge were absent and to be replaced.  No one was allowed on the bridge while there was no protection, but that apparently didn't mean us.  The leader pulled down on the padlock, and it just came open.  He took one end of the chain loose and then dropped both ends before pushing open the gate door.  We all filed onto the bridge.  It was a concrete bridge about four feet across on the walking level.  About three feet up were what served as guard rails, along both edges of the bridge, but they were also concrete and about two feet wide.

  In the middle of the bridge, I leaned over the "rail" and looked down.  It was dark, so I couldn´t see anything of the bottom, but I could see the edge of the run-off point.  I supposed it was probably for the best that I was unable to see the bottom.  I was never afraid of heights, but I didn´t harbor any great fondness for falling from them.  In most cases, I would prefer to see exactly what I was getting into, but in most cases, I would be trying to remain alive.  "So, it´s into the abyss I go, eh?"

  "Nothing quite so foreboding," I heard the leader say, then I turned to look at him.  He continued.  "At the base of the fall, close to the cliff edge, is an area deeper than the rest of the river.  Anything heavy that falls into it will remain there being continuously churned by the falling water until it is broken down into bits small and light enough to be flushed over the rim of the river bed."  I raised an eyebrow.

  "Basically, your body will fall into that indention where it will be repeatedly beaten and crashed into the rocks until you are torn and broken into very small bits.  Your tiny bone fragments will settle to the bottom of the river, while your organic bits will be eaten by the fish and other river dwelling creatures, and no one will ever know that anyone ever jumped."

  Graphic.  But I prefer bluntness.  The blonde spoke.  "But don´t worry.  You won´t feel most of it."

  I looked at her smiling face.  "Well, that´s always a good thing."  I looked back toward the blackness, and I thought about the plan.  Despite everything I´ve encountered up to that point, I seemed to have some doubts as to the likelihood of this working.  Something didn´t seem right.  I looked back at the leader.

  He immediately spoke.  "You will have to fall into a very precise spot, and though you technically could achieve it on your own, we are going to go about it a different way."  I waited for him to continue.  "All in good time.  You need to remove all your clothes."

  My eyebrow went up again.  "What?  Why?"

  "Traces of your clothing would be found, and they would also decrease you physical breakdown.  A workman at the base of the waterfall would happen to see one of your clothed limbs churning in the water, and that would lead to a police investigation.  Without your clothes, your body will be broken down small enough so that there will be no notice before it has been broken down small enough to be flushed over the edge, never to be found."

  "Okay," I said, as I began taking off my clothes.  "At least it´s a warm night."  Down to my pants and underwear, I noticed them all still standing and watching.  "Look.  I know you´re all-knowing, but I´m still human.  You three guys turn around.  I don´t mind if the chicks watch."  The three guys turned around, and the blonde smiled and waved her hand upward indicating for me to get on with it.  The way she was eyeing me, I guessed she was there to cater to some desire I had to have some attractive female want to watch me get undressed.  Not much question about it, actually.  The fact that I was letting the females watch anyway was evidence enough.

  So, there I stood in all my relative glory.  I looked up as I asked, "Now what," and found that the three guys had disappeared.  Only the females remained, and the blonde, still smiling and eyeing me, said, "Climb up on the edge."  She twirled her finger, instructing me to turn around.  It seemed she wanted to have a look at me from the back.  This was obviously just another tension easing technique; something to distract my mind from the fact of what I was doing.  Given the nature of my being, I was generally not okay with killing myself, but the little distractions were helping to quell those natural tendencies towards self-preservation.

  I stood on the two feet wide "rail" and turned back towards them, but they were all gone.  I looked around.  "Hey," I said aloud, but not yelling.  "You said-" then I felt a hand on my left arm.  Surprised, but not startled, I turned my head to see the brunette standing on the "rail" with me.  My eyes were locked to hers as I turned the rest of my body.  She was looking at me so sweetly and intently, that almost all of my surroundings faded into the blackness of the night.

  The crashing water seemed to get a little quieter.  All of my senses had focused on her.  I was waiting for her to say something, but she did not.  She put her hands gently on the sides of my face and began pulling my head closer.  Her left hand moved to the back of my head.  I closed my eyes just before our lips met.  She moved her right hand around to my back.  I wrapped both my arms around her and held her tightly against me.

  I began to focus on the feel of her.  Her soft, warm clothes against my skin.  The way she filled my arms to an almost perfect comfort.  The pull of her mouth on mine.  My entire body suddenly felt weightless.  It was a bliss with nothing physical but her in my arms.  My mind increased focus on the feel of her, and I could hear the sound of the waterfall growing louder until all of reality seemed to disappear.