The Panic Room Dialogue

  CONTRACTOR:  And this is your panic room.

  CLIENT:  What the heck is a panic room?  A place to store little paper sacks in case you hyperventilate?

  CONTRACTOR:  No.  No.  This is a safe place for you to go if someone in your house is trying to harm or kill you.

  CLIENT:  Is that where you put the controls for the turrets?

  CONTRACTOR:  Turrets?  There... there are no... turrets.

  CLIENT:  No turrets?  ...  Okay.  So, what is this room for?

  CONTRACTOR:  If someone is trying to kill you, then you run to this room and lock the door.

  CLIENT:  I don't follow.

  CONTRACTOR:  It puts an impenetrable barrier between you and the intruder.

  CLIENT:  So how do I get to them?

  CONTRACTOR:  You don't.  The point is to remain safely locked away until either they leave or the police arrive to apprehend them.

  CLIENT:  Wait.  Why are we getting police involved in this?

  CONTRACTOR:  To... arrest the criminals.

  CLIENT:  Oh.  So, I'm locked in there, and there's not turrets in the other rooms?

  CONTRACTOR:  No turrets.

  CLIENT:  So, do I release some kind of knock-out gas or something?  This is very confusing.

  CONTRACTOR:  No.  There's nothing for you to DO.  All it does is keep THEM from being able to threaten YOU.  It just keeps you safe so they won't hurt you.

  CLIENT:  Ohhhhhhh.  Heh heh heh.  Oh, you're adorable.  But seriously, show me the secret compartments for all my guns.

  CONTRACTOR:  What?