WARNING: May contain brutal honesty.

Attention all fat girls.  I don't mean big-boned girls, beefy girls, girls with "a little extra", or girls who can pinch an inch.

I'm talking about girls for whom black is not the least bit slimming, girls whose fingers alone will tell you she's fat, girls who will seek solace in food after reading this, girls for whome no clever sub-catagory (like the ones mentioned above) will downplay your size.

Please, STOP WEARING PIGTAILS.

And this has nothing to do with the fact that "pig" is in their name.

I want to take a moment to allow you to more fully appreciate my position.

I fully acknowledge that it is possible for a fat girl to be attractive.  I have seen some fat girls who have come very close to inspiring me to imagine having sex with them, and I don't mean out of morbid curiosity.

So, just the fact that you are fat is not completely horrid.  A good personality DOES actually go a long way, which is fairly proportional to your circumference.

But if I don't experience your personality, then it typically means that I will not be doing a double-take.  Not for any flattering reasons, anyway.

However, one simple thing that immediately moves you from "no thanks" to gut-wrenchingly repulsive is wearing your hair in pigtails.

It's not cute.  I'd rather see you in a string bikini than wearing your hair in pigtails, and I DO NOT want to see you in a string bikini.

For the love of everything you hold dear, please, stop wearing pigtails.