Beauty And Grace

If I had a Japanese wife
I would want her to be of beauty and grace
She would paint an original haiku on my back in chocolate
speak it only once and then lick it off
to exist never again except in our memories

the feet set apart
the hands in unmoving calm
the eyes are silence

If I had a Japanese wife
I would want her to be of beauty and grace
She would move her fingers delicately over my flesh
feel every detail, every shape and texture
to know as if she were water

air moves suddenly
forms in continuous change
the motion is sure

If I had a Japanese wife
I would want her to be of beauty and grace
She would lie asleep in a bed of silk
give it form and dimension
a presence of morning light and shadow

flesh impacts with flesh
destinations interfere
give and receive force

If I had a Japanese wife
I would want her to be of beauty and grace
She would turn over with a soft awakening breath
open her eyes to mine and remain still
her reflection on a mirror of truth

muscles seek mercy
heavy breaths blow sweat from lips
strong hearts beat onward

If I had a Japanese wife
I would want her to be of beauty and grace
She would wrap me in herself as slow as flowers
every second a year, each moment a lifetime
to never die but always be reborn

the two forms collapse
another trial is finished
they see no defeat

I was not entirely satisfied with aspects of this poem.  Certain words uses, certain feelings it conjured.

I decided to revise it, so I asked some people to tell me what they thought about it and what they thought might be done differently to improve it.

Taking all input into consideration, I revised it.  Just click Next to see it.