bung
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle Dutch bonne, bonghe
Date: 15th century
1: the stopper especially in the bunghole of a cask; also : bunghole
2: the cecum or anus especially of a slaughtered animal

  re·tard
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French or Latin; Anglo-French retarder, from Latin retardare, from re- + tardus slow
Date: 15th century
transitive verb
1 : to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment : impede
2 : to delay academic progress by failure to promote
intransitive verb
: to undergo retardation

  As if political correctness needed any more examples of how stupid it is, let us look at the phrase "differently abled" as the "correct" term for handicapped.

  Let's see... differently... abled.  You know how some people aren't able to wrinkle of their tongue?  And, you know, I'm not able to grow a baby inside me.

  Of course, this also means that my handiness for growing a baby inside me is capped.  Hmm.  So, basically, the politically incorrect term is half-assed.  And we replaced the half-assed term with something equally or more assed.  How exactly was that supposed to be better?

  What would be a word or phrase that is not at all assed?  One that is entirely accurate and cannot be applied also to a "normal" person?  Physically abnormal?  Unstandard?  Atypical?

  Personally, I'm inclined to not call them anything, but if we are going to distinguish them from "normal" people, which is occasionally necessary, then we have to have a word for them, and it only makes sense that the word be accurate.

  I'd like to give some props to one Irshad Manji.  If you've never heard of her, then she's fairly easily summarized as a Muslim woman advocating Islamic reformation.  To find more detail, you may visit her official website, Muslim Refusenik, and her MySpace page, http://www.myspace.com/irshadmanji

  I greatly applaud her efforts and wish her success.

  The only thing that confounds me is that she calls herself a Liberal.  I just don't see it.  She has courage and integrity.  When she speaks, she does so with logic and common sense.  She does not have a victim mentality or try to inspire victim mentalities in others.  In fact, the most Liberal thing I've ever noticed about her is her hair style, and I say that half jokingly.

  So, this leaves me wondering, what am I missing?  My best guess is that she's not speaking in terms of an American type Liberal.  The title of this particular newspaper article, Don't be fooled by the fanatics: Islam's liberals are on the march, leads me to this suspicion.

  Perhaps an Islamic Liberal is the equivalent of an American Conservative.  It would make sense given that the American Liberals resemble the apparently non-Liberal & non-Moderate Islamists so very much.

  Can anyone offer some insight into this?

  Got back last night from three days in Houston at a Locksmith convention.  I was with my father, mother, and grandniece, who is about two and a half years old.  All in all, it could have been worse, but I'm certainly not saying it was fun.

  I have a question.  Is Houston a subsidiary of the Coca-Cola Corporation?  Why is it that none of the fast food joints there offer Pepsi.  You're hard pressed to find any of the joints that commonly serve Pepsi, and in some cases, the ones you do find serve Coke instead.  What's the deal with that?

  We ate twice at a McDonald's.  They have two plaque awards calling the an outstanding establishment or restaurant or something.  I forget what exactly.  By our second visit, I'm thinking to myself, outstanding compared to what?  And how exactly are they defining outstanding?  Did they get the plaques before Roberto, or whatever his name was, was hired?  Was it a previous management all together?

  The dude taking the orders, and should I add, only person, needed to speak up.  I had to have him repeat himself no less than three times on that second day.  He got something wrong on my order.  On the first day, I had to go back twice to get things they forgot to give me to begin with.  The second day, I actually waited and had to remind them.

  One of the things I ordered was a hot fudge sundae.  One of the employees made a sundae, and then set it on top of the ice cream machine and walked off.  This was right before I reminded the manager (from what I could tell) about having ordered one.  She went to the machine, said "Who put this sundae on my machine?" out loud, and then threw it away.  Then made one for me.

  Then there's a matter of one of the employee's two kids running around and climbing all over the seats and tables.

  One thing that was more of an aesthetic problem to me was the R&B music, but I think it may have been played more loudly than it should have.  For the record, it's not so much the R&B itself as the vocal acrobatics that so many of the singers insist on doing.  Hey, I'm not impressed.  You want to impress me, then sound good without all the extra crap.

  Anyway, I'd say they were decidedly undeserving of being called outstanding, at least in any positive way.

  The hotel room was nice enough.  It was split into a bedroom and a living room, both having their own TV, one of which could play video cassettes.  That made up for all the other ways it was of lesser quality.

  The complimentary breakfast was good.  Our room was right next to the exit, which made loading and unloading the card an easier task.

  All in all, I think I could live a long and happy life without ever going back to Houston.  Understand that I'm not coming to this conclusion based on this one visit.  I've been there on at least two previous occasions, during which I stayed for about a week both times.  Houston sucks, and I'd like to never go back.

  I saw a news brief, or something, on TV about Britney Spears deciding to shave her head.  Apparently, she now doesn't like people touching her, and since having her hair done involves people touching her, she clipped off all her hair.  They showed video footage of her, and I must say, she can pull off bald.  She looks good.

  I'm a little leery about her motivation, but I give her kudos for doing it.  I'd have to know more about the full extent of her opposition to being touched before developing a full opinion on the matter.  Is she just fed up, or did she develop some kind of psychosis?

  I mean, if someone did touch her, would he react negatively, is she actively avoiding contact, or is she just taking casual measures that would circumstantially reduce the amount of physical contact she does have?

  Okay, heard a little more about it.  Sounds like it was very nearly a nervous breakdown.  Maybe members of the government can take a cue from her and MAKE A FREAKIN' DESCISION!!!  Be decisive, jerkoffs.

  I'm currently recovering from some kind of illness.  I'm not sure what caused it.  Either something I ate or I got it from my grand-niece.  I suspect the latter.  I did even realize I was sick until right as I was about to get out of the car, after getting back from a job.  It was very sudden.

  My whole body was mildly sore, my head felt like an inflated balloon, my skin was very sensitive.  I spent about 23 hours of the next day in bed.  Didn't get much actual sleep, though.